The Life of Dancinkayley

Phobias

I am such a phobia-laden person. Not just sometimes, all the time. I think I might have ligyrophobia, fear of loud noises. Honestly, every time a balloon pops I feel nauseous. Though for the most part I'm okay with balloons now. I just don't like them if they're helium or if people blow up to balloons to sizes that I never even thought possible. I also used to carry the fear of sharp objects though I'm not too bad with that one now either.

Believe it or not, it's my imaginary friends that help me. Xikun is an imaginary talking vacuum toilet (yes, you heard that right) who tells me lots of his words of wisdom. (I also wrote about him in my entry "Fear of Public Transport" which was written back on... January 23rd, 2008. Shows how much I post huh?) Ember is my Mametchi who has quite a few fears of her own and when she's not dealing with her own fears, she can actually be bothered to deal with mine. My imaginary friends at Xiniyan Academy (the imaginary me's school) try to make me look at the things I fear in a different light, which doesn't make them seem so scary any more. There are others in my imaginary world who try to help me too. The saddest thing is, I think I have more imaginary friends than real friends 0_o

I have gotten better since January though. For a start, I don't have a fear of public transport any more. Which is definitely a good thing, because I've got to take two trains to school every day next year. Well, every school day. I'm not in the least bit afraid of water, either, because:

I no longer care for any Tamagotchi.

Yes, I'm serious. Tamagotchi are what triggered my fear of water (except to drink, have a shower and other everyday things like that). You see, once I hit the high numbers (for generations), I became very obsessive about keeping my Tamagotchi alive, even though v1s are extremely easy to care for and care for well and take a while to die (though I don't think they take as long to die as v4s). I became scared that any water of any kind would permanently damage my Tamagotchi, even just one drop. As it is, my v1's A button is partially damaged by running through sprinklers one time (I didn't have a choice). It still works, I just need to press it firmly. (My mobile phone has the same problem with its 0 button.)

And now I've given them up I have no reason to worry any more. Another fear I had was leaving them somewhere out of carelessness or something of a similar nature. I'm also okay with going to my friend's house for a sleepover, even though her house is an hour away by car.

Another fear I've gotten over, far more longlived than my fear of balloons but a little less shortlived than my fear of going out of the house (which I don't have any more), is my fear of sharp objects. Most people thought that it was only getting injections that scared me and it was the pain that freaked me out. Well, they were wrong. It was all sharp objects and it was the thought that something is going to penetrate my skin that freaked me out. I really surprised everyone back in August when I got an injection and went in fearlessly and came out fearlessly, saying it didn't hurt. One of my friends said she had some tissues in her pocket specially for me and then accused me of wasting paper because I didn't need to use them! Some other people told me that I was brave or that they thought that I was going to freak out like I did in April this year. Honestly, I bawled my eyes out on that day.

Xikun told me that I wasn't really afraid of needles, it was me who had led myself to believe that I was. So armed with this knowledge, I tried my hardest to convince myself that I wasn't afraid. And it worked! Maybe I should try that with my other fears too and hope that it works. Funny how an imaginary talking vacuum toilet can be so helpful.